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Do you regularly spend your weekends relaxing and re-energising (rather than just recovering)?
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Do you spend your time doing the things that you want to do?
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Do you feel in control of your time (your life)?
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Can you look back over last year with a sense of achievement and satisfaction?
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If you’re not saying YES to all these questions, then maybe you’re due some time out to think about YOU, what YOU want and how YOU’RE going to achieve it. This is especially important when you are looking after small children.
‘Things that matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter
least’
Johann Wolfgang Goethe
There is no absolute definition of ‘Life Balance’, but in an increasingly busy world with an ever-increasing number of choices, a sense of Balance seems to come from being and doing on the outside what is important to you on the inside. This means organising your time, energy and other resources to match your inner dreams, goals and priorities - the things you want to say YES to in your life.
‘Work Life Balance’ is about how you organise and arrange your time between your current working life (paid and/or unpaid!) and everything else you want in your life – sorting out you Life Balance helps you have a satisfying Work Life Balance.
The 6 steps that lead you to enjoy a happier Balanced life are -
Step 1 – Knowing what is important to YOU
Knowing what your values are and organising your life around them helps you experience the confidence and self-assurance that comes from living true to yourself. Values drive decisions and provide an internal barometer of satisfaction.
Coaching Tips
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‘values’ are things like ‘success,’ ‘caring’, ‘contribution’, ‘harmony’, ‘winning’, ‘love’, ‘friendship’, ‘responsibility’, ‘duty’
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we pick up many values unconsciously from people and circumstances around us as we grow up, so think about which values are the most important ones for you at this point in your life
Step 2 – Knowing what you really want to do, to be, to have, to achieve, to experience, to learn in your life
Knowing what you want in life is like deciding on the destination for your journey – without it the journey; your day-to-day living becomes aimless and ultimately frustrating.
Coaching Tips
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start asking yourself questions such as - ‘what do I want to look back on in my life … ?’, ‘if I won the lottery I would … ’, ‘what sort of legacy do I want to leave in the world … ?’, ‘in my ideal world I would …’ ‘what needs to have happened every day/week/month/year/life for me to feel and say ‘that’s been an excellent day/week/month/year/life’ … ?’
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review where you are now and think about what you want to keep and what you want to change
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make the dream strong and vivid enough to keep in the forefront of your mind as you make day-to-day decisions
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capture your thoughts in a colourful picture – revisit it often and ‘dream’ on a regular basis – circumstances change and you change
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you might want to ‘dream’ with others important to you
Step 3 – Identifying your priorities, responsibilities, intentions and aspirations for each part of your life
It’s important to have grand visions, and the skill in making them happen is in breaking them down into tangible timescales and small scale goals. Identifying the key things to include in each part of your life over the coming year gives clarity and focus – you’ll know what to say ‘yes’ to and what to say ‘no’ to.
Coaching Tips
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‘me’, ‘work’, ‘family’, ‘friends’, ‘home’ and ‘and…’ (whatever else would make your life full and complete) are the roles and parts of life where most people spend their time – decide what each of these mean for you
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explore how you can live each part of your life in a way that’s consistent with your values
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decide - what are your ‘must do’s’ in each of these areas? – distinguish these from the things you ‘might like to do if there’s time’
Step 4 – Identifying the results you want in each part of your life over the coming year
Deciding exactly what you want to exchange your time (your life) for this year by turning your thoughts and intentions into clear Goals and a practical Plan
Coaching Tips
- how will you know when you’ve been successful?
- what do you need to have achieved for you to be able to look back and say ‘it’s been a good 6/12 months’?
Knowing ‘what good looks like’ means you’ll know when you’re on or off track so you can make minor adjustments to keep you focused on your achieving what you want.
Step 5 – Taking action to make your dreams and plans come alive and be realised
This is all about how you manage and organise yourself and your time to make sure you achieve the important things first. It means making decisions about how you want to use your time on a monthly, weekly and daily basis rather than just doing ‘whatever happens to come along’ (ie often what other’s want you to do).
CoachingTips
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break each intention/goal down into an action plan - what do you need to do each month, each week and each day to ensure you’re living the life you want in all your roles?
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spread your actions across the year and avoid times when you know you’ll be particularly busy
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plan in regular weekly time to think about and plan the following week
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review and reprioritise regularly
Step 6 – Taking action to make ‘living in balance’ into your normal way of life
Finding a new set of automatic behaviours that create and sustain a Balanced Way of Living that enables and supports you to experience and achieve your important things.
It means just getting on and enjoying your life!
Coaching Tips
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we live a lot of our lives on autopilot, so identify which everyday habits currently help you to be balanced (for example eating well, getting enough exercise, planning, being realistic about how long things take) and which undermine your ability to control and lead a balanced life (for example, saying yes to everything, spending time watching or doing things you’re not interested in)
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decide what additional or new habits would be useful for you – experiment until you find the ones you feel comfortable with
In a busy fast-paced world where we all face myriad choices every hour of every day, taking time out to think through these questions about what is right for you is essential if you want to enjoy a happy, healthy Balanced Life. The alternative is a life effectively run by advertisers, managers, people who do know what they want and circumstances…
You choose.
Lynn Murphy is a professional coach, trainer and leading expert in helping people keep in touch with themselves and live happy, fulfilling and balanced lives. She is the founder of Keeping in Touch Ltd and the originator of the unique Life Balance KiT™.
© Lynn Murphy 2007
You can receive free regular Bringing Balance to Life Coaching Tips from www.LifeBalanceKiT.co.uk
Email: lynn@lifebalanceKiT.co.uk
